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DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS. 

A Partial List o£ Successful and Popular Plays. Lar^e Catalofiue Free. 
Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid; Unless Different Price is Given. 



DRAMAS. COMEDIES. ENTER- 
TAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1% 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 4 4 
All That Glitters Is Not Gold, 

2 acts, 2 hrs 6 3 

Altar of Riches, 4 acts, 2J^ hrs. 

(25c) 5 5 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 254 

hrs (25c) 7 4 

Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. . . 4 5 
Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. (25c) 8 4 
Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs-. (25c) 9 3 

Bonnybell, 1 hr (25c).Optnl. 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 h. (25c) 7 4 
Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2% hrs. (25c) 7 4 

Caste, 3 acts, 2i/^ hrs 5 3 

Corner Drug Store, 1 hr,(25c)17 14 
Cricket on the Hearth, 3 acts, 

1 H hrs. 7 8 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs... 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 acts, 

2J4 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Down ill Dixie, 4 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

East Lynne, 5 acts, 234 hrs 8 7 

Editor-in-Chief. 1 hr (25c) 10 

Elma', 1^ hrs (2Sc) Optnl. 

Enchanted Wood, 1^ h. (35c) Optnl. 

Eulalia, 1 ^ hrs (25c) Optnl. 

Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

From Sumter to Appomattox, 4 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 2 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

VA hrs (25c) 9 14 

Handy Andy(Irish),2acts,lj4 h. 8 2 
Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 h. /25<:) 12 

Home, 3 acts, 2 hrs '..•».?.. 4 3 

Honor of a Cowboy, 4 act9^•2J^ 

hrs ..•.t25c)13 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (25c) 5 4 
It's All in the Pay Streak, 3 

acts, 1% hrs (25c) 4 3 

Jayville Junction, 1% hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Tedediah Judkins, J. P., 4 acts, 

2^ hrs. (25c) 7 5 ; 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 12 

Light Brigade, 40 min (25c) 10 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 254 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes, 1 hr.(25c)13 
Lonelyville Social Club, 3 acts, 

IJ^ hrs. (25c) 10 



M. F. 

Louva, the Pauper, 5 acts, 2 h. . 9 4 
Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 5 2 

Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs. ; (25c) 9 5 

Mirandy's Minstrels (25c) Optnl. 

New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr 3 6 

Not Such a Fool as He Looks, 

3 acts, 2 hrs 5 3 

Odds with the Enemy, 4 acts, 

IM hrs. 7 4 

Old Maid's Club, 154 hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

134 hrs (25c) 12 9 

Only Daughter, 3 acts, 1% hrs. 5 2 
On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 10 4 

Our Boys, 3 acts, 2 hrs 6 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 

Pet of Parson's Ranch, 5 acts, 2 h. 9 2 

School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^4 hrs.. 6 5 

Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 

Seth Greenback, 4 acts, 134 hrs. 7 3 

'Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 254 h. 8 3 

Solon Shingle, 2 acts, 15^ hrs.. 7 2 

Sweethearts, 2 acts, 35 min 2 2 

Ten Nights in a Barroom, 5 

acts, 2 hVs 7 4 

Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Ticket-of-Leave Man, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs 8 3 

Tony, The Convict, 5 acts, 254 

hrs (25c) 7 4 

Topp's Twins, 4 acts, 2 h. . (25c) 6 4 

Trip to Storyland, 15^ hrs. (25c) 17 23 

Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 254 hrs. (25c) 8 3 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
Under the Spell, 4 acts, 254 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES. COMEDIETTAS, Etc. 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min 11 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min ....2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 

Cabman No. 93, 40 min., 2 2 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min. . . 7 

Country Justice. 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 



T. S, DENISON £k COMPANY, 134 W. Randolph St.. Chicago 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER 



A PLAY FOR GIRLS IN TWO SCENES 



ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL 

AUTHOR OF 

^Mother Goose's Goslings'''' and ''A Trip to Story land* 



CHICAGO 
T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER 






CHARACTERS. 



Boarding School Girls from 



Vivian Mason 

Florence Dennis 

Bettina Warren 

Lillian Norton !- ^. - ^ r- 7 . 

Dorothy I Sixteen to Eighteen 

Maud Atherton | 

Beatrice Mortimer .... J 

Effie Warren. . . ") ^ .^, r-- i r -n -r 7 

Hazel Dennis. ..] •' -^'^^^^ ^''^' ""f ^^^^^^ ^^ ^^^^"^^ 

Miss Dunham A Teacher 

Mrs. Waterman The Principal 



Place — A Boarding School. 



Time of Playing — Thirty-Uve Minutes. 



COSTUMES. 

The teachers tastefully dressed and the girls wear pretty 
school dresses suitable to their respective ages. 



copyright, 1912, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. 

IHP96-006533 ! 
S)CI.O 31186 

1h * 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER 



Scene I. 



Scene: It may represent a schoolroom, hall or campus, 
to suit the convenience. Entrances right and left or one 
entrance zvill he sufficient. 

Florence and Vivian enter, arms entzvined around each 
other s zvaists, zuhispering eagerly. They zvear yellozv 
badges zvith black letters. Effie^ a little girl of eleven or 
tzjuelve, comes tiptoeing up behind, pounces on the en- 
tzvined arms and cries ''Boo!'' Girls jump and shriek 
slightly, then confront Effie indignantly. 

Florence. Effie Warren, you're a perfect little nui- 
sance ! 

Effie (mimicking her). Florence Dennis, you're a per- 
fect big nuisance ! 

Vivian. How long had you been there behind us? 

Effie. Not under two seconds and not exceeding two 
hours, Miss Vivian. Sorry I cannot tell any closer, but I 
left my watch at home on the piano, and two hundred 
miles is a bit too far to run before prayer time. 

Florence. Did you hear what we said? 

Effie. Don't you wish you knew? 

Vivian. Did you, Effie? 

Effie. What'll you give me not to tell, Miss Mason? 

Florence. A box of chocolates. 

Effie. Goody! Then I won't tell. But when will you 
give it to me? 

Vivian. Run away, Effie. Florence doesn't carry choco- 
lates to prayers. 

Effie. I suppose not. "I shall be obliged to confiscate 
these, young ladies (very primly), although it distresses 
3 



4 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

me very much to be obliged to do so." Oh, Florence, what's 
your badge for? S. O. M. F. Is it a new society, and 
can't I join? 

Florence. Yes, Effie, it's a new society. No, you can't 
join. 

Effie. Why can't I? 

Vivian. You are much too young and giddy (frivolous, 
I should say) to understand the high motives and lofty 
ideals of the S. O. M. F. You don't even know who Soc- 
rates was. 

Effie. No ; but I know he's nothing to do with your 
society or you'd never have mentioned his name. Fm not 
quite a baby, Miss Vivian, if my dresses aren't down to 
my ankles. My ankles aren't so big I'm ashamed to show 
'em, either ! S. O. — Society Of — oh, I'll find out your old 
secret yet! 

Florence. Effie, you're a perfect terror. (Calling.) 
Betty! Betty! 

Enter Betty. 

Betty. Oh, what is it? 

Florence. If you have any faint remnant of regard for 
that small sister of yours, rescue her before I fall upon her 
with evil, intent and commit a fell and awful murder with 
malice aforethought. 

Betty. Justifiable homicide, I should call it. What's 
the kidlet been doing now ? 

Effie (indignantly). Kidlet yourself, Bettina Warren! 
Oh, Betty, you've got a badge, too! Do tell me what S. O. 
M. F.^ means. Fm dying to know ! 

Enter Lillian. 
Lillian. Cheer up, Effie, we'll all come to the wake. 

Enter Maude and Beatrice_, arms entwined. 
Maude. To whose wake? 

Beatrice. Are any of you girls going to commit sui- 
cide? If so, count me out. I postively decline. 

Betty. It's only my small sister here — no one that 
counts. 



I 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 5 

Effie. Don't I ? You may find out yet, Miss Bettina. 
You think you're so grown-up ! 

Lillian. What you dying of, Efiie? Unrequited affec- 
tion for the butcher's boy? 

Effie. No, nor for the Professor's boy, either. 

Maude. Good for you, Effie ! Oh, Lil ! 

Lillian. Saucy little bunch ! Betty, why don't you make 
that kid behave? 

Effie. Kid yourself ! I'd like to see her try it ! 

Betty. I would not. Effie's dying of unrequited curi- 
osity, Lil. 

Beatrice. Did 3^ou ever hear of Mother Eve, Effie? 

Effie. Yes, I have ! And of Pandora, and Meddlesome 
Matty, and Curious Carrie, and Bee Mortimer, and so on. 

Florence. Effie, you'll surely be an old maid, your 
tongue is so sharp. 

Ep^fie. Hope I will. I wouldn't marry one of those soft, 
squashy, mushy academy boys you girls are so soft on for 
anything. I'd rather have a cat and a parrot. They know 
something, anyway. And I'm going to find out what those 
letters stand for. S. O. — Society Of — M — Monkey — F — 
Fools. 

Girls {in chorus). The idea! 

Betty. You're a first rate guesser, Effie. You don't 
want to be a monkey fool, do you? 

Effie. Oh, I'll guess it right yet. You see ! 

Betty. I do believe she will, girls. She's a perfect ter- 
ror at finding out things she ought not to know. 

Vivian. An investigating mind, hey? 

Florence. Look out, Vivian ! If Miss Dunham hears 
you say "hey" she'll give you another imposition. 

Vivian. Who cares for Old Dunham? I'll say ''hey" 
when I please, and straw, too, for all her ! 

Beatrice. Say, girls, I met her this morning and she 
put out her left hand to stop me — you know her way. 

Effie {mimicking). Just so! 

Beatrice. Exactly, Effie. And she said, "Isn't that a 
rather conspicuous badge, Miss Mortimer?" 

Maude. What did you say, Bee? 



6 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

Beatrice. I looked down at it as if I was just being ; 
introduced to it, and answered modestly, "Is it, Miss Dun- 
ham?" Then she read the letters slowly, but with as muchl 
curiosity as Effie here, and said, ''S — O — M — F — Society^ 
of Moonlight Flirts." (Girls shriek with laughter.) 

Lillian. Pretty good for Dunham. Oh, why hadn't 
we thought of that? 

Vivian. Really, that's a great name. 

Florence. Beats ours all hollow. 

Betty. That's even better than Effie's "Monkey Fools." 

Maude. Better join forces with Dunham, Effie, and 
ferret out that secret. 

Beatrice. You might call yourselves the "S. O. C. P.," 
Effie. 

Effie. What's that? 

Beatrice. Society of Curious Pryers. 

Effie. Thanks. I shan't join forces with the enemy, 
but I'm going to find out what those letters stand for, and 
don't you forget it. You'd better tell me and let me join. 

Maude. Well, you see, Effie, the membership is lim- 
ited to seven — the mystic number. 

Effie {counting badges). Betty, one; Maude, two; 
Lil, three ; Bee, four ; Floss, five ; Vivian, six ; Effie, seven. 
That just makes it. 

Vivian. But Dorothy's to be number seven, Effie. 

Effie. Pooh ! I saw Dorothy this morning, myself, and 
she hadn't a sign of a badge. 

Florence {taking badge from book). Well, she'll have 
this one when I see her again. 

Effie. Oh, give it to me, Floss — do ! 

Florence. I can't Effie, truly. It's promised to Dor- 
othy. 

Effie. Make me number eight, then. 

Betty. No. That will spoil it. Go get up a society of 
your own with Hazel and Helen and Marjorie. 

Florence. Fll paint your badges, Effie, and never ask 
what the letters stand for. 

Effie. Can't switch me off that way. I'm going to find 
out about that S. O. M. F, of yours, and I'm going to join." 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 7 

You'll see! {Snatches badge from Florence's hand and 
runs off with it. Girls start to chase her.) 
Enter Miss Dunham. 

Miss Dunham {putting out left hand). Stay, young la- 
dies, the chapel is in the other direction. 

Lillian. But — 

Miss Dunham. No excuses, please. The bell has rung 
for prayers. 

Maude. Mayn't I— 

Miss Dunham. If you mean may I not, Miss Atherton, 
say so. 

Maude. May I not — 

Miss Dunham. Certainly not. Whatever you wish to 
do, you must wait until after prayers. (Betty attempts to 
sneak off hut is promptly recalled.) Miss Warren, I shall 
report you for insubordination and you will do one hun- 
dred lines after school. 
• Florence {aside). Oh, ye gods and little fishes! 

Miss Dunham. Miss Dennis, I shall report you for 
profanity. I have remarked before on your flippant man- 
ner of conversation. Two hundred lines, please. Come, 
young ladies, we'll all be late to prayers. {Ushers them all 
before her in opposite direction to that taken by Effie.) 

When all have disappeared Effie re-enters, pins on 
badge and capers around. 

Effie. S. O. M. F. — Society of — that much is easy. 
M— Monkey— Moonlight— Morning— Midnight— oh, I bet 
that's it. Society of Midnight. F — Fools — Flowers — Feast- 
ers. Oh, ho! Fve got it. S. O. M. F.— Society of Midnight 
Feasters ! Bee got a box from home yesterday. Well, you 
can just bet little Effie's going to join and attend the first 
meeting. Now to learn where it's to be. 
Enter Hazel. 

Hazel. Hurry up, Efiie ; you'll be late to prayers. {Sees 
badge.) Why, Effie Warren, where'd you get that? 

Effie {softly). Don't be inquisitive, Hazel. That's the 
badge of a new society within this Select Seminary for 
Young Ladies. ^ 



8 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

Hazel. Well, you don't belong. It's for the big girls. 

Effie. Doesn't this look like it? My sister's a member. 

Hazel. So's mine, but she wouldn't even tell me what 
S, O. M. F. stood for. (Coaxingly.) Won't you, Effie 
dear? 

Effie. The idea, Hazel Dennis ! Don't you know I 
musn't ? It wouldn't be honorable. I'm surprised at you ! 

Hazel. H'm! Think you're awful big, don't you? I 
know your old password, anyway. 

Effie. Bet you don't! 

Hazel. Well, I do. I heard Vivian tell Floss. She said : 
"Tonight in Lil and Bee's room, at the witching hour. Open 
sesame — Bx !" So there, now ! Seems as if you might have 
found an English word instead of that Russian thing. 

Effie. Well, I don't know what they meant at all. Our 
passv\^ord is not Russian at all, but English. You're way 
off. There goes second bell. 

Hazel. Aren't you coming? 

Effie. Not just now. (Hazel runs out.) Bx ! That's 
Russian for box, I suppose. And tonight at midnight ! I'll 
be there. Oh, yes. Won't it be fun to see the girls' faces ! 
Here goes for chapel. {Runs out.) 

Curtain. 



Scene II. 

Scene: A bedroom in a hoarding school. One door, 
may he either right, left or center, to suit convenience of 
stage. A hox couch at one side, a bed at the other. A tahle 
near center zvith a motley collection of food upon it. 
Florence, Vivian, Lillian^ Beatrice and Maude sitting 
around in variovis schoolgirl positions. Bee jumps up and 
begins to re-arrange tahle. Lillian is seated near door. A 
light knock heard. She opens door a crack. Betty hisses 
"Bx!'' and is admitted. 

Florence. Why wear such a sad and solemn face, Bet- 
tina? 

Betty. I can't find Effie anywhere. 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 9 

Florence. I can, then. 

Betty. Oh, where is she, Floss? I was in the library, 
reading up for my essay, and stayed overtime. Of course 
the omnipresent Dunham had to meander down the corri- 
dor as I was hiking for my room, and I got an impo. 

Vivian. You'd have got two, Betty mine, if the very 
precise and proper Dunham had heard you make use of 
that very expressive and slangy verb "to hike." 

Betty. Well, when I got to my room Effie wasn't there. 
I thought she was hiding and hunted everywhere. But she 
just wasn't there. 

Florence. Had you looked in mine you'd have found 
her in bed with Hazel. I room with you tonight. I got per- 
mission from Mrs. Waterman herself to exchange for to- 
night. 

Betty. How ? 

Florence. In ways best kept secret. An' ye love me, 
ask me no questions, I pray thee. 

Beatrice. Where's the dragon, Betsy Bobbet? Do you 
know ? 

Betty. Sound asleep in her room, I suppose. 

Maude. Kindly let her remain there. 

Betty. If she only zvill, Maudie. I shan't drag her 
forth. 

Lillian. All here. Time for initiation. Bring the pris- 
oner forward. 

Vivian and Maude go behind a screen and come out 
leading Dorothy, zvho is blindfolded. They place her be- 
fore Lillian. 

Lillian. Sisters in mystery, behold before you the as- 
piring maiden who rashly dared to seek admittance to our 
select circle. 

Dorothy. I never, Lil Norton. You invited me your- 
self. 

Lillian. Does the rash prisoner dare to speak unbid- 
den? Guard — the penalty. (Florence passes a bottle of 
pepper sauce.) Put out thy bold and audacious tongue, 
varlet. 



10 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

Dorothy. I shan't. 

Vivian. You must, Dorothy. 

Maude. Oh, go ahead, Dot. She's put us all. through 
this before. 

Dorothy {hesitatingly) . Well, what is it? 

Betty. Fire — liquid fire. 

Beatrice. 'Twon't liurt you, Doto. 

Dorothy. Well — {puts out tongue, draws it hack. Does 
it several times. At last Lillian succeeds in putting pep- 
per sauce on it. Dorothy covering mouth with hands.) 
Whew ! That burns like — 

Beatrice. Water — only water, I assure you. Drawn 
from the northeast corner of the deepest well in Byfield. 

Lillian. If the taste doesn't appeal to you, don't an- 
swer this august tribunal with back talk. Now for your 
kittychasm. Answer promptly and respectfully. What is 
your father? 

Dorothy. A doctor. 

Lillian. Her father is the undertaker's partner, girls. 

Dorothy {indignantly). No such thing! 

Lillian. Don't the undertaker bury the ones he kills 
for him? 

Dorothy. The idea, Lil Norton! He doesn't kill people. 

Lillian. Then all his patients recover? 

Dorothy. Well, no, of course, not all. 

Lillian. Then they die? 

Dorothy. Sometimes, of course. 

Lillian. Then don't try to hide from us who his part- 
ner is. Perhaps in your town they don't bury the doctor's 
victims. Do they cremate them, or mummify them, or sim- 
ply pickle them? 

Dorothy. Don't, Lil. That's horrid ! They bury them, 
of course. 

Lillian. Oh, you perceive, friends, that the culprit has 
acknowledged that the learned doctor does have victims. 
Here is a serious question for you. Shall we admit the 
daughter of a murderer to our learned and elegant society? 

Dorothy. If you are going to insult my father, Lil 
Norton, I don't want to join your old society. 



An uninvited member. ii 

Lillian. Is the candidate getting touchy? Smooth her 
ruffled feelings, guards. (Girls smooth Dorothy zdgor- 
ously.) 

Dorothy. There ! That will do. My feelings aren't 
ruffled any more. 

Lillian. Drop the candidate's paternal parent with a 
sharp thud. (Bee drops a hook.) He is dropped. We will 
proceed. Miss Mason, you may take up the cross-exam- 
ination. 

Vivian. Does your mother ever wash her face? 

Dorothy. Of course. 

Vivian. Is it seemly, sisters, to admit to our circle the 
daughter of a washerwoman? 

Dorothy. My mother isn't a washerwoman, Vivian 
Mason ! 

Vivian. Please confine your statements to the truth, 
the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Are we to un- 
derstand that your mother never washes her face ? 

Dorothy. Of course she does. She isn't a pig. 

Vivian. Will the ladies please make a mental, note of 
the candidate's last statement for future reference? Her 
mother isn't a pig ! Then we are to understand that your 
mother, being neither a pig nor a woman, is a man? How 
passing strange ! Does she wear a beard ? 

Dorothy. No, she doesn't, and she isn't a man. 

Vivian. Third person, singular number, neuter gender. 
Miss Dennis, your turn. 

Florence. How old is your grandmother's cat? 

Dorothy. She hasn't got a cat. 

Florence. So the poor old lady can't afford to keep a 
cat ! Does she reside in the poorhouse, or has she a tumble- 
down hovel of her own? 

Dorothy. Neither. 

Florence. You don't mean that she's a beggar on the 
the street, I hope? 

Dorothy. No, I don't. 

Florence. Then please tell this assembly exactly how 
and where she does live. 

Dorothy. She doesn't. Both my g-randmothers died 



12 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

years ago. One before I was born. The other immediately 
after. 

Florence. Oh, Dot, were you as homely as that? She 
killed her own grandmothers. I've no more to ask. Pro- 
ceed with the inquisition, Miss Mortimer, while I recover 
from the effects of the shock. A pickle, please. 

Beatrice. No ; no pickles yet. The smelling salts are — 
somewhere. {To Dorothy.) When and where were you 
born? 

Dorothy. In Boston, May 1, . {Insert date to 

■fit age of girl taking the part.) 

Beatrice. What day of the week ? 

Dorothy. Sunday. 

Beatrice. Ladies, she's a Sabbath breaker. Very poor 
taste, to say the least, to work the stork express on Sunday. 
The hour of the day ? 

Dorothy. Really, I don't know. Does it matter? 

Beatrice. Does it matter? Certainly it matters. If you 
can't tell when you were born, you can't prove you were 
born at all, and if, like Topsy, you "just growed," you cer- 
tainly cannot be admitted to this select society, every mem- 
ber of which was born. 

Dorothy {laughing). Don't be silly, Bee! Of course I 
was born. 

Beatrice. Were you present at the occasion? 

Dorothy. Sure ! But I don't remember much about it. 

Beatrice. Was your mother present? 

Dorothy. I suppose she was. 

Beatrice. Suppose ! Write to her immediatly and ask 
her if you were born. She may know, and it is very essen- 
tial. Miss Warren, it is your turn. 

BettYo Let us drop family matters, since they appear 
so disgraceful, and find out if the candidate's mental 
achievements are such as entitle her to admission to our 
select association. Can you read? 

Dorothy. I think so. 

Betty {putting a book in her hand). Read this, please, 
aloud, slowly, and with expression. Begin at the place 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 13 

marked and read seven paragraphs. (Dorothy attempts to 

pull bandage from eyes. Girls prevent her.) 

' Dorothy. I can't re.ad with this on my eyes ! 

Betty {taking hook). I feared it. Ladies, the candidate, 
by her own admission, cannot read. Can you write? 

Dorothy. Yes, I can do that blindfold, I think. 

Betty. Very well. Here are pencil and paper. Write 
your name, please, if you know it. Also the name of this 
delightful Alma Mater of ours. (Dorothy starts to zvrite.* 
Girls jog her elbow and move her paper around.) 

Dorothy. I can't write if you girls — 

Girls (in chorus). She can't write! She can't write! 
She said so ! 

Betty {taking pencil). Sad, sad indeed! Do you know 
your letters? 

Dorothy. Probably not, according to you. You're worse 
than Miss Dunham. 

Betty. Try. Say your letters for the ladies, dear. 

Dorothy. A, b, c, d, e — 

Betty. Hold on ! That isn't the way ! 

Dorothy. Well, z, y, x, w — 

Betty. No, no ! Say them correctly. 

Dorothy. Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta — 

Betty. What gibberish ! Say them In English. 

Dorothy. I did, but you wouldn't let me go on. 

Betty. Begin again. 

Dorothy. A, b, c — 

Betty. No, no ! 

Dorothy. Well, how shall I say 'em? 

Betty. One at a time. 

Dorothy. All right. A. 

Betty. Correct. Proceed. 

Dorothy. B. 

Beatrice. Yes? What do you want? 

Dorothy. I didn't want you. C. 

Betty. See what? 

Dorothy. A lot of idiots, I should say. D. 

Maude. That's what she calls Bert, I suppose. Her dee 
boy. 



14 AN UNINVITED MEMBEll. 

Dorothy. Oh, dry up, Maude. E. 

Betty. I regret to say that the candidate doesn't know 
her letters. She hasn't given the definition of A yet. 

Dorothy. Well, what is the definition of A? 

Betty. I am asking questions, not answering them. 
One more trial. Can you define A? 

Dorothy. No, I can't and I don't want to. 

Betty. I am overcome at the thought of such ignorance. 
Miss Atherton may finish the kittychasm. 

Maude. Can you do arithmetic? Add one cat, two 
dogs, three bears and a lion. 

Dorothy. Seven animals. 

Maude. Wrong. 

Dorothy. One, then — the lion. 

Maude. That's not addition; that's subtraction. 

Dorothy. No, because they'd all be added to the lion, 

Maude. Wrong. The correct answer is, a big row. 
Can you do multiplication? Do you know your times table? 

Dorothy. I think so. 

Maude. How many times have you been kissed? 

Dorothy. What a question? 

Maude. I will make it simpler. How many times were 
you kissed by a — er — young man? Bert, for instance? 

Dorothy. The idea, Maude Atherton ! I shan't answer 
another question. 

Maude. The defendant pleads guilty. The last ques- 
tion is answered. Kneel. (Dorothy kneels.) Look up. 
(Dorothy does so. Lillian throzvs water in her face 
Dorothy gasps. Girls laugh. Another laugh is heard.) 

Lillian. What was that? 

Beatrice. What? 

Betty (pointing). Girls, look! 

All look. See Effie peeping from raised lid of box 
couch. As they rush toward her she throws it back and 
jumps out. 

Beatrice. Effie Warren, you dreadful child. How did 
you get here? 

Effie. Been here all the time. Came while you and 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 15 

Lil were squeezing lemons in the dressing-room. Sorry to 
disturb you before the initiation was over, but you asked 
such a heap of foohsh questions, and its stuffy in there. 
Besides, I was hungry. {Makes a dive for the table, grabs 
a cream cake and a pickle and begins to munch.) 

Beatrice. Effie Warren, you go straight back to your 
room ! 

Effie. If I do I'll send Miss Dunham up here. 

Lillian. Effie, you wouldn't be so mean ! 

Effie. I would if you were mean enough to turn me 
out without my share of the spread. 

Beatrice. Your share.! Well, I call that *cool. You 
weren't invited. 

Effie. Perhaps not, but I'm a member of the S. O. 
M. F., which means Society of Midnight Feasters, and I 
know the password — Bx ! See my badge ? 

Betty. Oh, Effie, you're a regular Paul Pry. What 
shall we do, girls? 

Beatrice. Eat and decide afterward. See the young 
gourmand stuff. 

Effie. Yes, it's a first rate spread. {All begin to cat. 
Intersperse remarks such as "Pass the pickles," ''Isn't this 
great,'' etc. The knob of the door rattles loudly. All pause 
in dismay.) 

Voice {from without). Miss Norton! Miss Mortimer! 
Young ladies. {No response.) Miss Norton! Miss Morti- 
mer! {Loud rapping.) Open this door! {A pause.) Do 
you intend to obey? Very well, I shall fetch Mrs. Water- 
man. {Steps recede.) 

Beatrice. Scoot, girls, quick ! 

Betty. We don't dare. She's probably waiting a little 
way down the corridor. 

Lillian. What shall we do? 

Florence. You and Lil get into bed quick. The rest of 
us will hide. Effie, you're little and spry, you blow out the 
candle and unlock the door. Then get back into your for- 
mer hiding place. 

Effie. All right. 

Lillian and Bee scramble into bed, Dorothy and 



16 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

Betty hide behind screen, Florence, Vivian and Maude 
dive under bed. Effie unlocks door, calmly Mis her hands 
and apron with goodies and gets into the box couch- 
Someone knocks twice, then door opens and Mrs. Water- 
man enters. 

Mrs. Waterman. Lillian ! Beatrice ! {No answer. She 
lights lamp and looks around her^ advances to bed, holds 
lamp high.-) Lillian ! Beatrice ! (Still no answer. Girls 
appear to be asleep. She gives a quick glance behind screen, 
then seats herself near table, occasionally glaring at or 
beneath the bed. Talks aloud to herself.) Well, I think 
Miss Dunham must have been mistaken as to the number 
of voices she heard. No one here but Beatrice and Lillian 
and they sound asleep. I suppose their brains are weary 
from over study. (Looks at table.) I suppose this is the 
contents of Beatrice's box. Spread out to see how much 
show it would make, I presume. A midnight feast, Miss 
Dunham seemed to think, but this seems hardly touched. I 
believe I'll try a glass of that lemonade. How prodigal of 
Beatrice to make up so much at once. Doesn't she know 
it won't be nearly so good in the morning? (Pours out 
lemonade and sips it.) Delicious, I'm sure, and I believe 
a slice of that cake would be nice. (Takes it and tastes.) 
Ah, what an excellent cook Mrs. Mortimer is and what a 
delicate, refined little lady. I'm glad she has brought up 
her daughter to be sensible and keep her goodies for 
morning, when they'll be digestible. I told Miss Dun- 
ham she was mistaken. Beatrice and Lillian are both 
too fond of me to grieve me by such a flagrant breach 
of rules. I told her she might go to bed and I'd go the 
rounds and see who was missing. It seems unnecessary 
now, however. (Betty gives a slight cough, immediately 
suppressed. Mrs. Mortimer looks toward bed.) There, 
Lillian has taken cold again. Her chest is so delicate. She 
must take a bottle of cod liver oil, I think. I'll give her 
some in the morning. These things ought not to remain 
here, they'll attract the rats. Let me see, there's that 
clothes hamper. I'll pack them in that and take them to 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 17 

my room for safe keeping. I presume Beatrice will be 
asking permission to have a party tomorrow afternoon or 
evening. Let's see. I believe I can guess whom she will 
ask, even. Betty and Maude, Florence and Vivian and 
Dorothy. *'We are Seven," and where one is, behold the 
other six. Dear girls, I wonder if they know how truly I 
have their interests at heart, and how well I love them all. 
(Packs basket, commenting on food. As she rises from 
packing last of it^ her eyes meet Effie's, peeping out from 
couch. Effie dodges back, Mrs. W. advances, lifts cover 
and motions her to get out.) Why, Effie Warren! This is 
a surprise. How did you come in there? 

Effie. I hid when I heard you coming. 

Mrs. W. But how came you here at all? What are you 
doing in a room belonging to two large girls, when those 
two girls are abed and asleep? 

Effie. Well, they didn't want me and I just came. 

Mrs. W. And you have been eating Bee's goodies ! Oh, 
what a pig ! Did Bee give any of these to you ? 

Effie. No'm, but — 

Mrs. W. What do we call it when one person takes 
another's goods without their knowledge or permission? 

Effe. Truly, I wasn't stealing, Mrs. Waterman. The 
idea ! I wouldn't ! Besides they did know. 

Mrs. W. And said you might? 

Effie. N — no. But it wasn't stealing. 

Mrs. W. Robbery, then, if you like that any better. A 
little girl who forces herself on those who do not wish her 
company is very bold and forward, indeed. How much 
have you eaten, Effie? 

Effie. Two cream cakes, three tarts, two pickles, a 
hunk of nutcake, a piece of pie, some macaroons. I guess 
that's all. 

Mrs. W. I should hope so. Come with me to my room 
and have a dose of castor oil, and then go back to bed with 
Hazel as quickly as possible. 

Effie. I don't need any castor oil, Mrs. Waterman. 

Mrs. W. Indeed you do, after eating all of that in the 
middle of the night. Here, help me carry this hamper. 



18 AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 

{They go out and close door. Girls come out from hiding 
places.) 

Vivian. Oh, I'm so cramped. Floss and Maude did 
crowd so ! 

Maude. Crowd ! I was way at the back, being crowded. 
'Twas Fl.oss. 

Florence. Well, I was right in front and I was sure she 
could see me. 

Dorothy. And Betty coughed. 

Lillian. Yes, and I'll have to take cod liver oil to 
cure it. 

Beatrice. Do you suppose she'll make you? 

Lillian. Of course. I can't say it was Betty, can I? 
Besides, she has been saying I ought. 

Betty. Girls, she knew we were there ! 

Dorothy. I believe she did! 

Maude. And talked for our benefit. 

Florence. Made us feel pretty small, too. I'm glad she 
got Effie, anyway. She did feel so big at getting the best 
of it. 

Betty. Say, girls, let's make a clean breast of it and 
tell her we're sorry. {Tears off badge.) No more midnight 
feasts for me! 

Beatrice. Nor me. Girls, S. O. M. F. is disbanded. 

Florence. And nobody had a feast after all but that 
troublesome little Effie. 

Vivian. And she'll pay for hers. 

Betty. Indeed she will. No one can coax, hire, threaten 
or force her to take castor oil at home. 

Beatrice. She was a little trump, though, and never 
tattled a bit. Stood her sermon like a little martyr. Let's 
change our society to one where we needn't sneak, and let 
Effie join. 

Florence. So we will. Now, girls, let's run, and in 
the morning we'll, 'fess. We do think a lot of Mrs. Water- 
man, and we'll prove it. 

Vivian. Think of her sending Dunham to bed. She'd 
have delighted in dragging us out one by one. 



AN UNINVITED MEMBER. 19 

Lillian. Yes, and we'd have been defiant and saucy 
and in no end of a mess. 

Dorothy. And have done it all over as soon as possi- 
ble, whereas now — 

Beatrice. Now we solemnly promise to abjure mid- 
night feasting for a year and a day. Unpin badges. (All 
do so.) March around and lay them on table. (All do so.) 
I hereby declare the S. O. M. F. disbanded and solemnly 
bury the regalia. (Opens top drawer of bureau, puts 
badges in and covers them, then closes drawer.) Good- 
night, sisters in mystery. (The girls all go out but Lillian 
and Beatrice.) 

Beatrice (as curtain falls). I expected she'd feel my 
pulse to see if I was feverish, my face burned so while she 
talked. 

Lillian. And to think Efifie was the only active mem- 
ber of the S. O. M. F. after all ! 

Curtain. 



DENISON'S " . 
VAUDEVILLE I 






^entson'^s 
Vaudeville Sketches 

Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid. 

n nirvi c« irmmin Nearly all of these sketches were written for profes- 

I clSrwn I ftiTTiTl l slonals and have been given with great success oy vaude- 
1.1:- .T rn ffl ^^^iQ artists of note. They are essentially dramatic and 
very funny; up-to-date comedy. They are not recom- 
mended for church entertainments; however, they con- 
tain nothing that will offend, and are all within tlus 
range of amateurs. 

DOINGS OF A DUDE.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 m., 1 f. 
Time 20 m. Scene: Simple interior. Maizy Von Billion of athletic tenden- 
cies is expecting a boxing instructor and has procured Bloody Mike, a prize 
fighter, to " try him out." Percy Montmorency, her sister's ping pong teacher, 
\i mistaken for the boxing instructor and has a "trying out" that is a sur- 
prise. A whirlwind of fun and action. 

FRESH TIMOTHY HAY.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 m., 
1 f. Time 20 m. Scene; Simple rural exterior. By terms of a will. Rose 
Lark must marry Reed Bird or forfeit a legacy. Rose and Reed have never 
met and when he arrives Timothy Hay, a fresh farm hand, mistakes him for 
Pink Eye Pete, a notorious thief. Ludicrous lines and rapid action. 

GLICKMAN, THE GLAZIER.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton 
and A. S. Hoffman; 1 m., 1 f. Time 25 m. Scene: Simple interior. Char- 
lotte Russe, an actress, is scored by a dramatic paper. With "blood in her eye" 
she seeks the critic at the office, finds no one in and smashes a window. Jacob 
Qlickman, a Hebrew glazier, rushes in and is mistaken for the critic. Fun, 
Jokes, gags and action follow with lightning rapidity. A great Jew part. 

THE GODDESS OF LOVE.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 1 m., 
1 f. Time 15 m. Scene: Simple exterior. Aphrodite, a Greek goddess, is a 
statue in the park. According to tradition a gold ring placed upon her finger 
will bring her to life. Knott Jones, a tramp, who had slept in the park all 
night, brings her to life. A rare combinal ion of the beautiful and the best of 
comedy. Novel, easy to produce and a great hit. ^ 

HEY, RUBE!— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton ^1 m. Time 15 m. Reuben 
Spinach from Yapton visits Chicago for the first time. The way he tells of 
the sights and what befell him would make a sphinx laugh. 

IS IT RAINING?— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 1 m., 1 f. 
Time 10 m. Otto Swimorebeer, a German, Susan Fairweather, a friend ot 
his. This act runs riot with tun, gags, absurdities and comical lines. 

iVlARRIAGB AND AFTER.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton and A. S. 
laoffman; 1 m. Oilme about 10 m. A laugh every two seconds on a subject 
which appeals to all. Full of local hits. 

MS AND MY DOWN TRODDEN SEX.— Old maid monologue, by Harry L. 
Newton; 1 f. Time 5 m. Polly has lived long enough to gather a few facts 
about men, which are told in the most laughable manner imaginable. 

AN OYSTER STEW.— A rapid fire talking act, by Harry L. Newton and 
A. S.Hoffman; ^ra. Time 10 m. Dick Tell, a knowing chap. Tom Askit, 
not so wise. This act is filled to overflowing with lightning cross-fires, 
pointed puns and hot retorts. 

PICKLES FOR TWO.— Dutch rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. Newton 
and A. S. Hoffman; 2 m. Time 15 m. Hans, a German mixer. Gus, another 
one. Unique ludicrous Dutch dialect, interspersed with rib-starting witti- 
cisms. The style of act made famous by Weber and Field. 

THE TROUBLES OF ROZINSKL— Jew monologue, by Harry L. Newton 
and A. S. Hoffman; 1 m. Time 15 m. Rozinski, a buttonhole-maker, is 
forced to join the union and go on a " strike." He has troubles every minute 
*hat will tickle the ribs of both Labor and Capital. 

WORDS TO THE WISE.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 m. Time 
about 15 m. A typical vaudeville talking act, which Is fat with funny lines 
ABd l^oti twee hits ib&t will be remembered and laughed over for weeks. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS. 

Price 15 Cents Each. Postpaid. Upless Different Price Is Given. 



M. F. 

Documentary Evidence, 25 min. 1 1 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min. ... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 

30 min 6 10 

Great Doughnut Corporation, 

30 min. 3 5 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Qreat Pumpkin Case, 30 min. ..12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min 4 3 

Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min.... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fancy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 

min. 3 2 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr 4 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min ... 3 3 

My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea, 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min...... 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min... 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. . 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min . . . '. 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 Z 

Second Childhood, 15 min . 2 2 

Slasher and Crasher, 50 min... 5 2 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min.. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min , 3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min. 4 1 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m.. 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min 3 3 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Which Will He Marry? 20 min. 2 8 

Who Is Who? ,40 min 3 2 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min..... 8 

.Yankee Peddler, 1 hr.........7 3 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES. ILON- 
OLOGUES. ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

^ M. F. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. . 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min.. 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

Five Minutes from Yell College, 

15 min. 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min... 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. . 1 1 
Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min.. 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35. min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min... 1 
Mischievous Nigger, 25 min... 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min.. 4 2 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min.. 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min... 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 

min 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Recruiting Office, 15 min 2 

Sham Doctor, 10 min ...4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min... 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min... 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min... 3 

Umbrella Mender, 15 min 2 

Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, 15 

min 1 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

Who Gits de Reward? 30 min.. 5 1 



A ^reat number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here ere listed in 

Denlson's Catalogue. 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 1S4 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



,:,T ■i\ W12 



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Finely made, 
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clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
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DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialoiiues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

New, clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialot{ues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialo({ues. 

50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Brand new, original, successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 

The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues,dialogues. 

Dialect Readiniis. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 

The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 

The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 
For pupils of all ages. 

Humorous Monoloi^ues. 
Particularly for ladies. 

Monologues for Youn^ Folks. 
Clever, humorous, original. 

The Patriotic Speaker. 

Master thoughts of masterminds. 

The Poetical Entertainer. 
For reading or speaking. 

Pomes ov the Peepul. 

Wit, humor, satire; funny poems. 

Scrap-Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, prose, poe- 
try. 14 Nos., per No. 25c. 




The Be 

Veri 
The Fa 

Lit?if^ iliiS~ii^2iT2T^ 

For children f rora^DTi 
The Surprise Drill Bo^ 

Fresh, novel, drills am 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys* Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Plans, invitations, decorations, 

games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
The Little Folks, or Work and Play. 

A gem of a book. 
Little Folks' Budi^et. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Finders and Swaying 

Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

HAND BOOKS 

The Debater's Handbook. 

Bound only in cloth, 50c. 
Everybody's Letter Writer. 

A handy manual. 
Good Manners. 

Etiquette in brief form. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Social Card Games. 

Complete in brief form, 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches,etc. 
Laudhland, via the Ha-Ha Rout.e. 

A merry trip for fun tourists." . 
Ne^ro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny s tories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Lariie Hlustrated Catalogue Free. 



i 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers. 1S4 W. Bandolph St.. Chicago 



